Throughout my pregnancy I have always been very honest when people asked how I was doing. At times I feel most people are shocked, as they are not used to the out of the ordinary answer of “good thanks, and you?”. Each time I was asked I felt a conflict in my mind of not wanting the judgement of my honesty and knowing I cannot lie. I cannot hide how I truly feel; I cannot pretend that I am not having difficulty. In saying this I am loving being pregnant but there are a lot of other emotions that come with being pregnant, and I want that to be more known and accepted. Women’s bodies take the sperm and from that they create life form within their belly’s. Now that is just a miracle in itself, to know we are capable of such magic is incredible.
What I have found now coming into the second trimester, as I am currently 22 weeks. That at the beginning it is an influx of emotions, hormones and changes. I personally am finding it hard going into my second trimester to get back into the positive motivated frame of mind that I was in before pregnancy. As I was quite sick the first trimester, I had to stop a lot of the things I enjoyed, which then got me out of routine and it has been a mental struggle to get back into that routine. I know that of course my routine will never be the same, I need to adjust to my new gorgeous growing body and make a new routine that suits me now.
Last night I lay in bed stressing, fixating on perfecting everything during my pregnancy and for when the baby comes. Eventually I had to really question why was I fixating? I had to look at what had got me to that point and to that frame of mind. Why was I after waiting so long and dreaming of becoming pregnant was my mind set like this? Why was I wasting this experience worrying about the unimportant factors? I knew I needed to regroup myself, re-centre my mind and move forward in a healthier way for the next day. I was beginning to make even the little tasks in life seem harder than what they were, therefor actually making life harder for myself. I reminded myself who I was and what I want for this pregnancy, for my child. I did not want to have regret or guilt for how I was throughout my pregnancy, so I am accepting the past few months, although they didn’t go to plan, it is okay! I am learning and I want to do better from now on.
So, this is a promise to myself, I will change my frame of mind and today was day one, and a complete success!! I will keep you updated on how I will be changing this all for myself and the progress I make, as I truly believe our minds are so very strong and we are in control of it!!